#159: The lost dump

I've never understood people who forget to eat. Suddenly it'll be 9:00 and they'll say, "Huh, I guess I never had dinner." Impossible in my world. Although come to think of it, I've forgotten to eat lunch lately, so maybe I live in more of a glass house than I realized. Still, I never thought it would be possible to forget a dump.

And maybe I didn't. All I know is that the day is nearing its end and I can't remember if I made a deposit to the Los Angeles sewer system or not. I definitely had a false start in the morning, and I suspect that I returned for a second round, but I can't be sure. Which is shocking. That's right, the country's preeminent poo chronicler cannot remember whether or not he did in fact have a poo to chronicle.

One reason I write this blog is that there are few universals in life, but we all eat, we all sleep, we all defecate. You read plenty about the first two, but #2 gets overlooked. The fact that I could forget today's is a sad reminder that we largely take our time on the toilet for granted. Was it a masterpiece? Was it a failure? Or was it a fiction? It's lost to the annals of time, and I have not managed to hook my toilet up to the TiVo, so I can't rewind and find out.

And for this, fair readers, I apologize. I must be more diligent, lest some of my better material be flushed before it can be shared. Tomorrow we begin anew.